I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
