i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
