last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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