dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
