is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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