So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
