He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
