I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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