She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
