ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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