Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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