drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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