I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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