he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
