my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think we might need a safe word for this...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize