In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh god the rape fog is back!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
