hotel room ftw
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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