discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
