We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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