More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
