Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
