What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
