She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
