Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
