I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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