Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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