You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
