Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
