chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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