so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
