Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
