She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
