My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
