You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
