i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
