I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
