Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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