I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
