i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
