Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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