Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize