So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
