she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
