can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
