How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When are your genitals available?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
