My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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