ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
