Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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