Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
