If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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