i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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