the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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